OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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