The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
