everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
