I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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