wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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