Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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