i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
