I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
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