How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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