So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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