Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
So apparently I’m into choking now
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
