Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
