would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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