You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
