Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
wow bdsm is so cute
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
