I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
