Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Let's get the cat blown out
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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