just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
