i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
