wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
two words: eviction party
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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