I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
