dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
