summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
