Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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