if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
