Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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