Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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