Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize
