Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
