she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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