Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
