You smell like stripper and shame
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
