I haven't been this sober since birth.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
