I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
