I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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