he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Shame - the story of my life.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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