That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
