im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
