Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
