Please, let me fuck your mom
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
