Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
