he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
