Walk of Shame. In a state park.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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