You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
