people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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