I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
there's paper in my vomit.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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