It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
