Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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