last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
