I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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