We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
