At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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