Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
