two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
