birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
