you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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